I knew we shouldn't have grabbed this little bastard.
I knew it.
I FUCKING KNEW IT.
And no, he hasn't turned on us yet. You know what happened? Can you guess?
Someone from his stupid former organization came by and tried to kill us all.
and you know what?
PETE WAS FUCKING USELESS THE ENTIRE TIME
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
except maybe as a distraction but that's it
I mean, this wasn't going to be easy. We probably are going to have to kill a proxy, like the time Jeanette freed those slendertots. But we also have a shotgun.
But now I Am The Walrus is coming after us.
Because TARA INSISTS ON DRAGGING THIS GODDAMN ALBATROSS AROUND WITH US EVERYWHERE WE FUCKING GO BECAUSE SHE FEELS SORRY FOR HIM
and i'm sure it has nothing to do with that fact that he's the first thing that's ever flirted with her
YES I AM INSINUATING YOU ARE UGLY AND DESPERATE I HOPE YOU READ THIS LATER AND ARE SUITABLY BURNED
goddamn it she has me typing like gamzee what the fuck
we were lounging around our hotel room going over what we know about the situation already--which basically amounts to nothing because let's face it, the lovers is not going to let us know where he is until he wants us to find him
AND THEN THIS ASSHOLE BREAKS IN
who i am informed looked younger than tara and was wearing a black hoodie and had red hair
jesus redheads are the bane of my existence
and he had a gun. i know this first hand.
and by broke in, i mean
JESUS CHRIST HE BURST THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE THE FUCKING KOOL-AID MAN
christ that was a shitty motel
what were those doors made of
my head isn't working right right now
hard time thinking
but fuck you
i'm not editing this
SO ANYWAY THIS DOUCHEBAG IN A HOODIE COMES IN
he tells us to freeze, and he has this charming, boisterous voice. energetic. outgoing.
which was undercut by the fact that i could tell he was going to kill us.
but of course he needed to get his 'reason you suck' speech to petey first
because as long as we have the villain checklist we might as well hit every point on it
but, you know, to make sure we are listening
he shot me.
just in the leg, and it's mostly superficial, now that it's bandaged. i'm sure he thought shooting the blind girl was funny. or maybe he didn't realize.
it is kind of funny though
either way. it hurt. it still hurts.
insert a solid paragraph of 'it hurts' here.
"Hey, Peter." He said, and I could hear the broad grin on his face. Trying to make it sound like this was planned, speech and everything, when you could tell he was making it all up as he went. "How's life been? Because honestly, it hasn't been so good for us! Not that you'd know, running off and fucking things up like you did." I heard him walk across the floor to him. The bed squeaked, and I think Tara tried something, but then I heard her get hit hard and fall to the floor. "Ohoho, spirited little girlfriend you have there, Pete. Might have to do something about that later. But anyway, back to the matter at hand.
"You know, I can respect running off. I can, really. But respect only gets you so far. You should have just quit when we told you to. But no, you're too stupid. Well, Pete? Does your grandfather's legacy really seem worth it right now? Do you still want to be the hero? I wonder what he'd say, if he saw you now."
Peter mumbled something, and even I didn't hear it and I have the overcompensating senses thing going on. But I'm pretty sure it was something about not caring about what his grandfather would say. Only crazy and not as coherent. Then again, I was bleeding heavily so I could be wrong. You can forgive me for not hearing every little thing.
AND IF YOU CAN'T THEN FUCK YOU
and then oh jesus i'm doing the gamzee again
FUCK IT I'M STILL NOT EDITING THIS
i need more bourbon
TARA MORE BOURBON oh wait i need to say they out loud
I also wasn't listening that well anyway, because I was looking for the shotgun. By looks I mean groping around for it because goddamnit i miss my eyes
It turns out that Tara found it first.
Poor little ram. Kept his head pointed forward. All attention on Rivers. Discounted me and Miss Useless.
"I don't want to use this." I heard her say in her toughest voice.
"You won't." He didn't stop being charming and energetic...but there was a cold certainty to his voice.
"I will if I have to. Get out. Now."
"Oh Jesus Tara grow some ovaries and shoot him he already shot me."
"You're going to leave. Now." I almost believed her when she spoke.
"Alright!" he said. i don't think he even cared she had the gun. i don't think she mattered. i think he knew she'd let him get away. "You've twisted my arm. You know, I like you. You really should be shooting me now, though. But I guess I'll leave you all for now. Not like I won't find you again. Be seeing you all really soon."
and then he left. probably to get some distance for another charge. no point in shooting anymore. no point in taking hostages. if tara is our last line of defense, he knows he'll win next time.
AND SHE NEVER SHOT HIM
peter and i agree she should have
I MEAN JESUS TARA I'M AGREEING WITH PETER AND I HATE HIM
though i mean it's not a genuine hate. just kind of on principle.
but i mean
tara still has her murdercherry
and probably the regular one
I'M CALLING YOU UGLY AGAIN TARA
and i guess she's not ready yet
but next time, if aries comes back
and you have that chance
and you don't take it
he'll kill us all
if he doesn't just start off killing us next time right when he gets the chance
he's already given his speech to peter.
i guess it depends on how the mood strikes him at the moment.
i'm going to black out
this place we're squatting in is drafty
and i've had too much bourbon
i'd try to sleep with one eye open
but i don't have any to spare
so you'll have to, tara
or better yet
DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES.
DON'T FALL ASLEEP.
DON'T YOU DARE REST YOUR HEAD.