Saturday, March 10, 2012


I think I'm losing my mind.

Well, not losing.  Losing implies a process.  I think I'm already crazy.  If the trifurcated posts weren't evidence enough.

I killed someone today.  I think it was a proxy.  I'm not sure.  I didn't know I could say that so casually.  I was always kind of the coward of the group.  Never killed anyone.  Never "popped my murdercherry" like Alison used to call it.  She used to chide me for it but I think she was relieved I hadn't.  Afraid I would.  Afraid death would be so easy for me if I started, like it was so easy for her.

Where are you, Alison?  Where's Jeanette?  Where did everyone go?

I don't know if it even matters anymore.  We were doing so well but it really didn't  matter in the end.

I would kill that stupid fucking boy if he was still alive.  But he's not.  And that's why we're all fucking doomed.  As if Smiley wasn't fucking bad enough.

That doesn't matter, though.  As long as I keep killing, keep surviving, it doesn't matter.

Maybe it's weak.  It's been sealed away long enough.  Maybe...maybe it's weak enough.

It's what Jeanette would do.  Shooting a primal force of terror in the face?  Just another day being her.

I miss her so much.  I didn't realize how much I

It doesn't matter.  I'm rambling.  Don't know how the others made blogging look so goddamn easy.

Bottom line:  I'm crazy.  Killed a proxy.  Might have to kill a god.

Friday, March 9, 2012


I know exactly why all this happened.

Everything was going wrong.

And now, we're all saved.

Everything's gone so horribly right.

We won.

Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, candydrops.

I know exactly where I am. They're all alone now, but I'm right here.

They miss me. They wish I'd come back. They wish I could find them.

But they can't. I'm gone.

I'm not here, and they are alone.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


Ten of Wands:  You’re sure they’re here?

Ten of Wands:  So why the fuck are we here?

Ten of Wands:  Yeah.  Maybe.

Ten of Wands:  I wasn’t.

Ten of Wands:  How many eyes?

Ten of Wands:  How many eyes does she have?

Ten of Wands:  I wasn’t going to say anything.

Ten of Wands:  Okay, sure.  He would leave a note or something.  I’m not arguing this anymore, Knight.

Ten of Wands:  This really isn’t the right time to talk about this.  We’ll talk about it later.
Ten of Wands:  Hmph.  Looks like the sister.  Is she...?

Ten of Wands:  How many eyes?

Ten of Wands:  Does  that sound like what I fucking asked?  How many eyes do they have?  Three, two, or one?

Ten of Wands:  You’re supposed to do what I tell you to.  Or do we need to have a talk with Ace?

Ten of Wands:  The Queen of Swords.  What does the other one look like?

Ten of Wands:  Black or brown?

Ten of Wands:  Knight, look!  Fuck! that what...?

Ten of Wands:  I’m not leaving you here.  We all run.

Ten of Wands:  I appreciate the heroics but do you really think you’re gonna slow that thing down?

Ten of Wands:  Come on, move!

And the rest is silence.

I'm not Penny either.