chimera

I think I'm losing my mind.


Well, not losing.  Losing implies a process.  I think I'm already crazy.  If the trifurcated posts weren't evidence enough.


I killed someone today.  I think it was a proxy.  I'm not sure.  I didn't know I could say that so casually.  I was always kind of the coward of the group.  Never killed anyone.  Never "popped my murdercherry" like Alison used to call it.  She used to chide me for it but I think she was relieved I hadn't.  Afraid I would.  Afraid death would be so easy for me if I started, like it was so easy for her.


Where are you, Alison?  Where's Jeanette?  Where did everyone go?


I don't know if it even matters anymore.  We were doing so well but it really didn't  matter in the end.


I would kill that stupid fucking boy if he was still alive.  But he's not.  And that's why we're all fucking doomed.  As if Smiley wasn't fucking bad enough.


That doesn't matter, though.  As long as I keep killing, keep surviving, it doesn't matter.


Maybe it's weak.  It's been sealed away long enough.  Maybe...maybe it's weak enough.


It's what Jeanette would do.  Shooting a primal force of terror in the face?  Just another day being her.


I miss her so much.  I didn't realize how much I


It doesn't matter.  I'm rambling.  Don't know how the others made blogging look so goddamn easy.


Bottom line:  I'm crazy.  Killed a proxy.  Might have to kill a god.

hydra

I know exactly why all this happened.




Everything was going wrong.




And now, we're all saved.




Everything's gone so horribly right.




We won.




Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, candydrops.




I know exactly where I am. They're all alone now, but I'm right here.




They miss me. They wish I'd come back. They wish I could find them.




But they can't. I'm gone.




I'm not here, and they are alone.

janus

Ten of Wands:  You’re sure they’re here?


Ten of Wands:  So why the fuck are we here?


Ten of Wands:  Yeah.  Maybe.


Ten of Wands:  I wasn’t.




Ten of Wands:  How many eyes?


Ten of Wands:  How many eyes does she have?






Ten of Wands:  I wasn’t going to say anything.


Ten of Wands:  Okay, sure.  He would leave a note or something.  I’m not arguing this anymore, Knight.


Ten of Wands:  This really isn’t the right time to talk about this.  We’ll talk about it later.
Ten of Wands:  Hmph.  Looks like the sister.  Is she...?




Ten of Wands:  How many eyes?


Ten of Wands:  Does  that sound like what I fucking asked?  How many eyes do they have?  Three, two, or one?


Ten of Wands:  You’re supposed to do what I tell you to.  Or do we need to have a talk with Ace?




Ten of Wands:  The Queen of Swords.  What does the other one look like?


Ten of Wands:  Black or brown?








Ten of Wands:  Knight, look!  Fuck!  Is...is that what...?




Ten of Wands:  I’m not leaving you here.  We all run.


Ten of Wands:  I appreciate the heroics but do you really think you’re gonna slow that thing down?


Ten of Wands:  Come on, move!
















And the rest is silence.


I'm not Penny either.

suckers.

Queen Takes King

q --> k

Check

Fucking

Mate

Operation "One Night in Bangkok" is a success.

but i'm a creep

what the hell am i doing here?

i don't belong here.

this is not an important post

q qnp

Zombie

When I say that the Lovers was my worst nightmare, I'm not exaggerating.

As a  child and teenager, he  was in my head.  When I closed my eyes, I saw his smile.  When I dreamed, I was in his field.  He was my constant companion.  And he wanted out.

Can you imagine that?  Whenever I was asleep, I was with him.  Everything he has wrought upon his victims was wrought upon me.  Every night.  For years.  Others can escape their monster by running.  But mine was there.  Always there.  Pounding on the walls of his cage and smiling, always smiling, always goddamn smiling.

I knew he was trapped, somehow.  I knew it.  The only way he could contact anything was through my head...through my head, somehow. I don't know how.  I don't know why.  What could lock a Major Arcana away like that?  How could it break free?  Why did it need me to do it?

From their most recent post, it looks like one of them is the same.  Fitting he chose the same suit.

I removed him from my head.  I did what the King of Cups and his friends are trying to do.  I unleashed him on you all.

I'm not sorry.

Isn't that the funny thing?  I'm not sorry I unleashed him.  With him in my head, I was in hell.  My life was unbearable.  I stopped sleeping.  I nearly killed myself over and over and over but he wouldn't let me die.  Did you know I spent my teenage years in a mental hospital?  Because I did.  All those tests, all that therapy, and nothing helped.  Nothing ever helped because my nightmare was there, with me.

And when I released him, the first thing the Smiling Man the Lovers did was take my eyes.  He looked in my eyes and I saw so much, so very much.  Too much.  It burned them out of their sockets and I screamed and wept blood in pain and joy with the knowledge that he was out of my head.

So yes, I know it must suck to be you, King of Cups.  I know a part of you would kill your whole family, all your friends, resign the world to yet another unstoppable monster if you thought you could be rid of the terrible thing in your head.

But I'm not telling you.

Because even though I'm not sorry, I know what I did was wrong.  Even though I would do it again in an instant, I know it was unforgivable.  And even though I know the agony you are going through,  I know the agony everyone will go through.

So I'm sorry.  Just to you, I'm sorry.

The answer is still no.

Trouble

transcript

Penny(me):  Put her down on the table.  Make sure she's lying flat.
Tara: I don't...o-okay.
P:  Tara.
No response
P:  Tara, I need you with me.  This is important, all right?  Don't flip the fuck out on me right now.  I need does-things Tara, not pussies-out Tara.
T:  Okay.  Okay.
P:  Swords, how does it feel?
Jeanette: grimacing I-it feels like I've been shot in the leg.
P:  Good.  Take off Jeanette's pants as best you can.
J: ...can't you do this without stripping me?
P:  We either cut them off or take them off.  It's not like the room's full of boys you ridiculous fucking prude.
T:  Okay.  deep breath Okay, what now?
P:  Do you see an exit--
interruption.  Alice/Chelsea enters the room.
A:  I got it!  Jesus, that's a lot of blood.  Is she all..
P:  Shh!  Tara, do you see an exit wound?
T:  I don't...yes.  I think so, I mean.
P:  Do you or don't you?
T:  It's kind of ragged, I can't tell.
P:  Whatever.  We keep going under the assumption that the bullet's not in there.
T:  But what...
P:  People have gone their whole lives with things worse than bullets in them.  If it's in there we can get rid of it when she has more blood, which she's losing the more I have to explain things to you idiots.
P:  Page, do you have the suture?
A:  What the fuck is a suture?
P:  sigh Curved needle and thread.
A:  Oh!  Duh.  Right here...is she going to be alright?  Does she need my blood?  I have a lot of blood.
P:  She'll be fine if we can get her sewn up soon.  Okay.  Tara.  I'm going to need you to do exactly what I tell you to do.
T:  I'm not sure if I...
P:  You've got the steadiest hands of all of us.  You can do it and you need to do it now.
T:  Okay.  I can do this.
A:  You better.
P:  Shut the fuck up and let Tara work.

Long story short, we were led into a trap.

She's fine, by the way.  More or less.  One more addition to her scar collection.

Fuck these people.  Whoever they are.

Hear that, Flaming Ass?  Fuck.  You.